Saturday, August 1, 2009

I want my simple happiness

Sometimes I just can't describe my own feelings. Am I happy, sad, disappointed, angry or whatever. Why do I keep feeling that whatever I do is not being appreciate at all? I never do anything bad, in fact whatever I can do I already did. I wonder is it that his parent doesn't like me at all? Even if it so, should they just tell him straight? At least I will know. Unless someone tell me that my thinking is wrong.

From the start, I never even offended them. All along I always go over to his place & join his family for dinner but now due to this new work, I often have to work on Saturday... so I can't go over as I'm tired. Well ever since then, things are getting worse. *Sigh* At times I do try to drop by during weekdays. But well, little things I do, they won't even notice.

Whatever things they feel their son is doing wrong, they simply push all the blames to me. Do they even know, I am the one who asked their son not to fetch me or send me to work? But he keep insist as he felt it's his duty. They thought I treat him as a driver but I didn't! Even his son tried to explain to them, they still don't believe. *sigh* I AM BORN IN A FAMILY WHEREBY WE TRAVEL VIA BUSES OR MRT! I don't need a driver!

In fact, their family is the one treating him like a driver, call him to bring them here and there. Even he got work, mon - fri, on sat they also expect him to wake up early and bring them out to eat and buy groceries. Sometimes he just want to took some times off and go out and enjoy, they will keep calling him to come home early and etc. So much more things that I don't wanna disclose all. =/

During weekdays, sometimes we just took 1 day and meet each other for dinner, his mum will call and ask him to go home early. At times she will even say, "very rich arh? why eat outside, can't eat at home?" *sigh* It's just for a day! I wonder what's wrong.

There was 1 time, my mum was so kind and asked him to come over and have dinner with us (his mum NEVER ONCE asked me to go over for dinner) and when he reached home, he told his mum about it and his mum reaction was, "Home never cook ar? Why has to go other people house eat?" When I heard about this I was really fuming. Argh! But I just forget it. It just her comment.

Everytime he stay over at my place till quite late, I'm always the one advising him to go home early. And fyi, I only go out late ever since I know him and I'm not even the one that make their son go home late. They should know since the days he know me, he already got such habits of going out late for supper and etc. It's me who keep telling him to go home early and skip the unnecessary supper! *sigh* It's just easy to push the blames. If only they know what I have done... But well they don't even care.

I can don't care about what his family said about me but when I heard it and know about it, I felt very hurt. Their 'latest comment' hurts alot too... That time I gave 1/2 of the durians for his family... They are not thankful at all, his parent even commented that the durians was not nice only some was nice etc. In the end? They finished everything and only left 2-3 for my bf. WTF? If it's not nice, why do they even EAT?

Then 2 weeks ago, I finally got time off from my work. So I decided to go over in the sat morning. He has to fetch his sis back from work , so he told me if I am able to reach Tampines @ 7:15am, I can join them for breakfast & can sit his car and go his house. And so he told his mum about this. His mum reaction was, "whay you want to do such stupid things? Why want to send her?" He was pissed and told his mum, "if she can reach tampines early, why can't just send her since we are there to? Why you have to be so black hearted?" His mum was dumb founded after that. After I heard about this, I told myself, it's ok, I can take train + bus myself. I just felt sad again.

I just wonder why? Why? I never even do anything wrong, someone just tell me why? Last fri I went out with him for dinner, his mother called him and ask him to come home early as the have to go LTA the next early morning. After he hung up, he complained that his father was shouting at the background and said, "don't bring your gf home later." My bf told me that maybe his dad doesn't want me to know too much about his family or whatever. I don't know. Throughout the night, I pretend nothing ever happen. I just pretend I am ok.

What happen? Don't ask me, I don't even know but I can swear I never do anything harmful to them or whatever. Sigh I really don't know why but I just be happy and thankful that I got a very nice & thoughtful bf. I shall not complaint too much as to add on to his burden and I don't want him to be 'sandwiched' too.

Well, maybe I feel better after writing this out =) So, I'm okay. I'm strong! I just want to get my simple happiness.

I saw this while I'm watching Absolute Boyfriend. LOL.

1 comment:

Ms. J said...

hi there! I was bloghopping and I found this recipe.. I love those pork ribs! I also like their stewed pork with mushroom (yellow can also with the picture on the side). Great input! I'd like to try your recipe one of these days.. looks very delicious! :)

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