Monday, January 24, 2011

20 Ways to Survive a Horror Movie


I have been watching some horror movie and I wonder why those people are always so foolish to get themselves killed so easily (even though it is just a movie). So I decided to come out with this list, a quick run-down of items that you should or should not do if you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie. If you want to stay alive till the end then read it!


1. Don’t have sex.
Those that are doing sex will be less aware of the surrounding and you will be dead before you can cum or whatever lol!


2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
Obviously, your mother has taught you not to follow any strangers.

3. Don’t go to the camp when someone is already dead there.
Don't be a busybody to check out if the person is still alive or not. Your own life is more important!

4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE!!
If the killer can’t see or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE? The moment you move, the killer will be coming after you.

5. Always wear a running shoes, because you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
Self-explanatory

6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
Don’t waste your time walking around to look for people.

7. Don’t be a hero.
Hero is often the first to die.

8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, don’t investigate.
The killer is most likely to be there. So why go and get yourself kill?

9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
Apparently, the killer doesn't need your car's key to enter your car.

10. If your car breaks down in front of a gas station, don’t ask the counter staff there for help.

The staff is most likely to be the killer. Trust no one!

11. Don’t go into the basement.
The basement is usually the dead end.

12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.

Something must be wrong with the house right?

13. Turn off the television and run away if a girl crawls out of it.
This is self-explanatory too. Lol!

14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
Just move very very far away

15. Don’t act like a detective.
Because you won't die as hero.


16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.
If there are a lots of reports of  "Person murdered" pops up, you know you should not go there.


17. Don’t get drunk
Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.

18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.
Start running!

19. Don’t take a shower.
Apparently a lot of killers are rather pervert and they like to appear behind you when you are taking a shower.

AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:

20. STAY ALIVE!

4 comments:

JarvisjerK said...

Nice Post =)

Just 2 questions;
1) How would I know if I'm really in a horror movie? (I mean aside from the killer is hunting me down and the camera crews filming it...)

2) And if I manage to stay alive until the very end, how will I know if it is really the end? How will I know if there's a sequel?

(sound effect) DEN DEN...

Soh Hong Wei said...

13. Turn off the television and run away if a girl crawls out of it.

Haha!!
I guess the person will stay there and wait for it to crawl out.. =)

Kristin said...

1) You just answered your own question. Haha!

It can be like, the next morning you wake up and find yourself in some deserted place. Or it can like when your moving house... =p

2) You will never know. That's why no. 20 is just STAY ALIVE for as long as you can...

sirei said...

lol til max XD